Wedding Responsibilities

As a Toastmaster in Kent I am often asked whose job is whose in the run up to the big day. In this modern era, things have become a little less formal with many brides and grooms arranging and indeed paying for their big day. That is not to say that the close families and friends are excluded from the arrangements.

As a Toastmaster, I am on call from the very moment of my appointment and am pleased to meet with the bride and groom to discuss any matters they may have. Whilst many brides like a slightly less formal wedding, my role as toastmaster has in fact increased as I have to be far more flexible in my approach. One can always stay rigidly to protocol but, this is nowadays far too stiff and starchy for many couples.

However, whilst many may see a Toastmaster as a man in a red coat with a gavel and who appears to do nothing more than “help with the speeches”, the role is far wider and can basically be summed up as the wedding facilitator. The Toastmaster will ensure that all runs to time, spot problems before they happen and seemingly with the greatest of ease make your day the greatest occasion of your lives.

The Bride at her wedding normally deals with all those areas you would expect, choosing her bridesmaids, selecting the dress and those clothes to be worn by the bridesmaids, the flowers, the booking of the bridal cars and to arrange her hen night.

The Groom would normally be responsible for all matters legal, selecting the best man and ushers, buying the rings, the button holes, the thank you presents for the bridesmaids, the honeymoon and last but not least his wedding speech.

Lastly, please remember that nothing is set in stone and I, as a Toastmaster in Kent, would be only too happy to discuss your requirements. Many couples have removed those suggested boundaries and start their partnership as just that, a partnership, with all decisions being made together.

James is a Toastmaster in Kent and is based in Tonbridge.

How to Make a Wedding Speech

As a toastmaster in Kent, I have witnessed first hand the nervousness, dread and pangs of fear that can take over the wedding speakers. But rest assured - they always go down a storm!

For many people, the speech they make at a wedding is their first attempt at public speaking. Fraught with nerves the speaker is called to his feet to make an articulate and witty speech where the assembled audience will hang on every word waiting for that gaff.

This is all in the mind of the speaker and must be set aside not only for the speech to work but also to ensure the speaker does not freeze due to nervous tension. The assembled throng are happy to be there and will applaud at many a feeble joke just because they are enjoying themselves.

The key to making a good speech is preparation. Prepare your speech well in advance, write it out long hand if you are not an experienced speaker and then practice either in front of a mirror or a willing partner.

Time it and see if the time is about right. Too long is far worse than too short.

I like the use of small cue cards written on one side. Don’t do what one poor soul did and write on both sides. As he placed one card down he did not turn it over! Of course, fumbling for the next card proved a bit of a problem!

Try and commit the wedding speech to memory, it looks far more professional if you appear to give an ” off the cuff” speech even though hours of work may well have gone into its production. By all means add humour to the speech but do not make it personal - it is the bride and grooms big day and they should not feel embarrassed.

Posture is important - keep your head up and look as if you are enjoying the occasion. Speak slowly and clearly particularly if you are speaking to a large crowd. Most important of all Relax.

It was in the not too distant past, the custom to hold the  wedding speeches after the meal which usually meant the speech makers did not enjoy their meal for fear of what was to come.  Be modern - move them to either before the meal or between courses it may well mean the father of the bride enjoying the meal he has just paid for !!

James Lark is a Wedding Toastmaster based in Kent. He can be contacted here.

Visit his web site to see his wide range of wedding testimonials both here and abroad.

A Toastmaster in Kent Provides 5 Top Tips for Your Wedding Day

As a toastmaster in Kent, aside from the obvious decisions on any wedding day, it is imperative that you are comfortable with the inclusion of a toastmaster to provide a suitable level of service to the biggest day of your life.

Here are five tips to help point you in the right direction.

1) Where are their Testimonials?

Do they walk the walk and are willing to provide you with events that they have hosted prior to you choosing your toastmaster?  It is a crucial and frequently overlooked step. However, do ask them for prior experience at whatever type of function you are organising.

2) Ensure they have the Right Qualifications

There are many unqualified persons engaging in ‘toastmaster’ activity. Toastmasters are professionally trained according to strict guidelines established by bodies such as the English Toastmaster’s Association. Check for these when you arrange your initial meet.

3) Book Well in Advance

Like anything relating to weddings certain times of the year can be busy for wedding plans. This is no different to the toastmaster. To avoid disappointment ensure you book your toastmaster well in advance, ideally one year.

4) Take the Time to Meet Your Toastmaster

Take the time to meet your toastmaster. A toastmaster will meet you without any obligation. In this 30 minute meeting your toastmaster will listen carefully to your wedding and function requirements and explain the format and possible role that your toastmaster will play to ensure that you have the most memorable day of your life.

5) Does Your Toastmaster’s Personality fit with Your Wedding Plans?

This is crucial to your function. Are your wedding plans suitable for a toastmaster? These are key questions that can be asked in your no obligation meeting with your toastmaster.

Look for more information on toastmasters in Kent by visiting our website.

James Lark is a toastmaster in Kent. He can be contacted here

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