As a toastmaster in Kent, I have witnessed first hand the nervousness, dread and pangs of fear that can take over the wedding speakers. But rest assured - they always go down a storm!

For many people, the speech they make at a wedding is their first attempt at public speaking. Fraught with nerves the speaker is called to his feet to make an articulate and witty speech where the assembled audience will hang on every word waiting for that gaff.

This is all in the mind of the speaker and must be set aside not only for the speech to work but also to ensure the speaker does not freeze due to nervous tension. The assembled throng are happy to be there and will applaud at many a feeble joke just because they are enjoying themselves.

The key to making a good speech is preparation. Prepare your speech well in advance, write it out long hand if you are not an experienced speaker and then practice either in front of a mirror or a willing partner.

Time it and see if the time is about right. Too long is far worse than too short.

I like the use of small cue cards written on one side. Don’t do what one poor soul did and write on both sides. As he placed one card down he did not turn it over! Of course, fumbling for the next card proved a bit of a problem!

Try and commit the wedding speech to memory, it looks far more professional if you appear to give an ” off the cuff” speech even though hours of work may well have gone into its production. By all means add humour to the speech but do not make it personal - it is the bride and grooms big day and they should not feel embarrassed.

Posture is important - keep your head up and look as if you are enjoying the occasion. Speak slowly and clearly particularly if you are speaking to a large crowd. Most important of all Relax.

It was in the not too distant past, the custom to hold the  wedding speeches after the meal which usually meant the speech makers did not enjoy their meal for fear of what was to come.  Be modern - move them to either before the meal or between courses it may well mean the father of the bride enjoying the meal he has just paid for !!

James Lark is a Wedding Toastmaster based in Kent. He can be contacted here.

Visit his web site to see his wide range of wedding testimonials both here and abroad.